‘Just breathe’, she said to herself as the door shut behind her. It was her sixth time there and the little hope she had left was slowly fading away.
“I’ll see you in two months time. Who knows we may have some answers then”, the doc said to her after another series of tests.
As she dressed up, she looked at him and in utmost disappointment said to him, “there is no next month or a next time. Am done! Am done trying.”
“Convince him to come with you on the next visit. Who knows he may be the missing piece to this puzzle.”
“He will come if he wants to. But like I’ve told you, I am done trying. Doc, you should see how they spite me. They blame me for this. I am at my end and I am not doing this again!” She picked her bag from the seat and walked out almost slamming the door.
Suzzy and her husband Mitch have been trying to have a baby since they got married seven years ago. Her worst critics have been her in-laws. They ceased to be the sweet, warm and welcoming family she knew them to be.
Family functions became her worst nightmares. Everyone’s finger seemed to be pointing at her. They didn’t have to say a word to her; their actions were louder than any spoken word. They pierced her feeble heart with their judgment and cruelty. And she had had enough of it all. So she stopped attending the family functions, especially those from her in-laws’ side.
In one particular event, her mother-in-law dressed her down in front of some guests, belittling her and calling her names. Her husband had traveled then and being the good daughter-in-law she was, she attended the event in his absence only to receive cruelty from her in-laws.
How do you miss someone you’ve never met? You picture their life in yours and plan out your life with theirs. You calculate their every possible milestone in life. You see yourself cheering them because by default, you are their number one fan. You foresee any danger or harm that may come their way and you are ready to shield them. You are ready to take on the world on their behalf because having waited all your life to meet them, means the world to you. So you hope that that day will come and you’ll finally meet them.
Going through the motions of life where there are too many critics than encouragers made Suzzy withdraw from people. She seemed ok but she was not. And she was fast learning that sometimes it’s ok not to be ok.
Mitch is at the doctor’s for the appointment. A series of tests is done and the results show that the issue is actually with him and not Suzzy.
“How do I tell Suzzy that I am the reason we can’t have kids?” He sinks in the chair as he looks at the results with tears running down his face.
He had always stood up for his wife but not as much as he should have. But as the rubber now meets the road, he hopes that he and his wife can find an alternative to their current predicament.